Author: <span>Christine Lindstrom</span>

Proverbs 3:24

“When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.”

There’s a reason fear seems to plague us most at night. Actually there are a lot of reasons. We’re tired at the end of the day and strong emotions are harder to deal with when we’re tired. We slow down at night and have fewer distractions, so events and conversations that we didn’t have time to process throughout the day can all come flooding to our minds at the same time. Something about the darkness itself feeds fears of the unknown with its hidden spaces and long shadows. 

When we sleep, we are at our most vulnerable. For the most part, we are unaware of our surroundings and unable to care for ourselves. Sleeping deeply can leave us feeling sluggish and disoriented when we first wake up. Letting go of consciousness for the hours that we sleep is something we do so regularly that we don’t usually reflect on what an act of surrender and trust it really is. 

But a night of sweet sleep makes everything feel better in the morning, doesn’t it? It can restore us in both mind and body, blessing us with renewed energy, fresh perspective, and new ideas to solve problems. Sleep is a gift of peace and rest.

It’s as if we spend all day trying to keep the world spinning. We have our to-do lists and everyday chores, and I spend many days feeling like I’m trying to race the clock to the finish line. If I’m honest, I spend much of that time with an exaggerated sense of my own importance in making sure Earth continues to rotate on its axis. Of course I have responsibilities that I need to take seriously, but I’m the type of person that often risks taking myself and my role a little too seriously. 

Then, when it is time to sleep, we symbolically hand over the reins to God and say, “Here, take care of things for me for a few hours while I get some rest. It should be pretty quiet for you tonight.” 

God is not the babysitter of the universe, watching things for us when we need a break. He lets us hold the reins together with him, and help steer the horse, but he doesn’t need us to do that in order to stay on the road. If we’re willing to trust him to be in control while we’re sleeping, why aren’t we more willing to trust that he is also in control while we’re awake?

This verse in Proverbs is part of a list of the benefits of wisdom and understanding, sound judgment and discretion. Wisdom and understanding remind me who is in control, sound judgment leads me to choose my attitude and actions in light of this reality, and discretion reminds me that I am free to rest in God’s care. Waking or sleeping, God is constant. “He who watches over you will not slumber.” (Psalm 121:3)

So we can sleep peacefully each night, but also live at peace each day while we’re awake.

“I am one in whom Christ delights and dwells. I live in the strong and unshakeable Kingdom of God. The Kingdom is not in trouble, and neither am I.” – James Bryan Smith

Moment of Beauty

This song speaks of being confident enough in God’s love for us that we are free to let go and stop trying to control everything. May its words be a prayer for you today.

“Control” by Tenth Avenue North

Psalm 46:1-3

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah.”

As a musician, I always found it much easier to count the rhythms of the notes I was playing than to count out the rests. It seems like it should be easier to not do anything, but knowing when not to play was a challenge to learn. Unintentional solos are embarrassing so I learned a few tricks for how to avoid them if I happened to lose count. One was to rely on a cue from the conductor and another was to listen well to the ensemble and know how my part fit. 

The psalms are a collection of songs, and though we no longer know the melodies that accompanied the words we do know a little bit about the rests. Selah in the psalms is believed to be an indication of a pause or a rest in the song. 

I spent a lot of time staring at a blank screen trying to compose my thoughts for a reflection today. In light of recent events, I didn’t feel comfortable just ignoring the conversations that need to happen in our nation. Yet I also don’t feel comfortable speaking into them just yet. As I prayed about what words I have to contribute while deleting as many words as I tried to write, I knew I needed to walk away for a while. Literally. I went for a walk.

As I walked, I found myself pondering selah and received it as a gift. In music, if you play when you’re supposed to rest it can ruin the performance for everyone. Similarly, when it comes to words, there is a time to speak and a time to remain silent (Ecclesiastes 3:7). 

Today, it is not my turn to speak. 

I will watch the Conductor, waiting for my cue, and in the meantime I will listen to the words of those around me to learn how my part fits in. The symphony feels a bit chaotic right now, and I suspect that there are many who have continued to play though the score says they should be silent and listen.

I am observing a moment of silence.

I am silent so I can listen to the voices that have been silenced for too long, who aren’t willing to wait anymore, who are screaming to be heard. 

I am silent and listening to my own breath, remembering those whose very breath was taken from them.

I am silent and praying for an end to covid-19 and police brutality. I’m praying about my own privilege and what it means to be anti-racist rather than simply non-racist. I’m praying silently because I don’t have words but I know the Spirit intercedes for me. 

Please join me in being slow to speak, unless the Conductor gives you a cue, so we can listen well and learn to create a beautiful and diverse symphony together.

Genesis 18:13-15

“Then the Lord said to Abraham, ‘Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.’ Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, ‘I did not laugh.’ But he said, ‘Yes, you did laugh.’”

No one has to be taught to lie to protect themselves. Isn’t it remarkable that, almost as soon as children learn to talk, they start exploring the ways their words can get them into – and out of – trouble. Did you eat a cookie? No, says the child innocently despite the crumbs and melted chocolate all over his face and hands. Did you color on the walls? No, says the child hiding the crayon behind her back. Our instinct is for self-preservation, whatever the cost. It takes time to learn to value the truth, even when it forces us to accept the consequences of our actions. 

In Genesis 18, Abraham and Sarah are literally hosting messengers from God in their house, which would admittedly be a daunting situation for anyone. It seems like the news is all good, though somewhat hard to believe. For Sarah to laugh at the idea that she would finally have a baby in her old age seems like a natural response. Her initial action isn’t so bad. But when asked about it, she’s afraid of the consequences and her instinct is to lie and say she didn’t.

The messenger values truth and calls her on it. I don’t know if his voice was strict and firm or kind and reassuring but he does not allow the lie to stand. Fortunately for Sarah, there don’t seem to be lasting consequences. The lie was spoken but immediately exposed and replaced with truth.

Sure enough, before long Sarah is cradling a baby boy in her arms. Clearly her encounter with the messenger and what she learned about truth remain with her. For the rest of her life, Isaac will remind her of the value of truth. Isaac means laughter. Instead of trying to hide her laughter, she learns to celebrate it. “Sarah said, ‘God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.’” (Gen. 21:6) 

In this time of “alternative facts,” it sometimes feels as though truth has lost its value. Rest assured that it hasn’t. Whatever we see on television or in the halls of power, lies cannot be spoken and spun with impunity without ever being called to account. 

It may seem so small and harmless. An extra cookie or a bit of crayon on the walls. Sarah lied about laughing. No harm done, right? All those little white lies that don’t seem to affect anyone, or even seem to be helpful…what could it hurt?

If we believe that truth has inherent value, then falsehood – however innocent it may seem – denies and diminishes its value. And when fear is what leads us there, we should definitely be careful. Does fear lead us in the right direction? Is fear worthy of leadership at all?

The lesson I take from Sarah’s seemingly trivial example is that God, the source of Truth, takes falsehood seriously, and that fear can so easily feed lies. I also see that I need to have two types of people around me: those who are willing to speak truth and expose lies immediately, and those who remind me to celebrate truth. 

Fear lies to us and makes us into liars. But together we can love, value, and celebrate Truth.

Moment of Beauty

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

Find the beauty in your life today by making a list of the true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy things (and people!) in your life. Take time to thank God for the people who help you expose lies and celebrate truth. Or, if you need people like this in your life, ask God to provide them.

Genesis 3:9-10

“But the Lord God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’ He answered, ‘I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.’”

We are currently 8 months into our third round of parenting a 3-year-old. I know everyone likes to talk about the “Terrible 2s,” but really it’s the “Three-nager” stage that I think is the hardest (of the ones we’ve experienced so far). Don’t get me wrong – Micah is sweet and adorable and way too smart for his own good. I’d absolutely do anything for him. But there’s something about life with a 3-year-old that brings to life the story of Adam and Eve eating the fruit from that tree. Is it a coincidence that it happens in Genesis 3? I’ll let you decide, but let’s just say that the fact that everything is flowing along wonderfully for those first two chapters and then wham! everything gets turned upside down – it’s relatable. 

Micah’s favorite expression right now is “UGH!” but I swear he makes it at least two syllables long. Sometimes three. He knows everything about everything, which makes us always wrong, and he can go from zero to tantrum in the blink of an eye. If we say no to candy, it jumps immediately to, “Ugh! You never let me eat anything!” (I swear we feed him.) Did Mom really say you aren’t allowed to eat anything anymore forever? Of course not, but he is definitely receiving it that way. And I think that Adam and Eve were sort of like 3-year-olds at this point in the garden – though I have no idea how human development works when you’re formed from dust instead of being born.

The real temptation in the garden wasn’t really about eating the wrong thing. It was about questioning the trustworthiness of God. 

That insidious question: “Did God really say…?” No, actually he didn’t. They knew that and they said so. Yet the question was enough to plant that little seed of doubt disguised as curiosity. What if God is holding out on us? What if he doesn’t really want my best? What if he doesn’t truly love me? Once they were unsure and unsettled, it was surprisingly easy to accept the lie, even after they had experienced such intimacy with God.

We are never immune from those questions, and they are at the root of all our fears because they are at the root of original sin itself. All the nagging “what if” questions that keep us awake at night – What if I get sick? What if someone important to me dies? What if I lose my job? – they are all different versions of our deepest question: What if I can’t trust God after all?

After that fateful moment in the garden, it doesn’t take long for fear to enter the story. God pursues them despite the recent damage to their relationship and they hide. They hide like a 3-year-old who doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s been doing. The man explains that he was afraid because he was naked. 

I’m convinced that his fear in that moment has nothing to do with nudity and modesty. Let’s remember that God formed each and every part of his body out of dirt then intimately breathed his very breath into his lungs. There was no mystery there. No, the nakedness they felt was about being vulnerable. Exposed. When they started questioning whether or not God could be trusted – if he even loved them – they lost their sense of security. There will never be enough fig leaves to take away this kind of nakedness. They were vulnerable to the onslaught of “what ifs” and left without any good answer for them. Ironically, it seemed that questioning whether or not God really loved them would turn out to be the reason for him to stop. 

But God never stopped loving them. He pursued them. He didn’t erase the consequences of their choices, but he never stopped pursuing them. The whole overarching narrative of the Bible is about God pursuing a loving relationship with his people no matter how many times they rejected him. He pursued us all the way to the cross and he pursues us still. All to answer those nagging questions at the root of all our problems. 

Is God trustworthy? Yes.
Does God really want what’s best for me? Yes.
Does God actually love me? Yes! 

All our attempts to hide our nakedness and vulnerability only push the questions deeper. We can actually deceive ourselves into believing that we’ve succeeded. I’ve hidden how I really am, that’s why God loves me. If he really saw what I was like, he wouldn’t love me. 

The bad news is that we’ll struggle with these questions in some form throughout our lives. Just when we think we’ve worked through it, when we’re at our most intimate with God, that’s when they’ll resurface in a new form. Our enemy has not lost any of his skills. 

The Good News is that God is tireless in his pursuit of us and he won’t give up until one day, the questions are finally put to rest forever, when there is a new heaven and a new Earth. When the “old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

Moment of Beauty

Ponder the poem, “Touched by an Angel” by Maya Angelou:

We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.