Day 25: Like a Little Child

Mark 10:14-15

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

We visited the Grand Canyon when Emelie was 3 and Peter was 11 months old. I had never been there before, and I had always wanted to go. I remember being filled with awe at that first sight of the canyon – the enormity of it and the way the colors shifted in the changing sun angles. Pictures can never do it justice because a picture can’t give you the feeling of being there. 

If I’m honest, though, the feeling I remember most from those few days at the Grand Canyon is fear. Little Peter didn’t walk yet and sat happily in a stroller or a hiking backpack most of the time. Emelie, on the other hand, was very physical in expressing her joy at the beauty of this place. She wanted to get right up close to it at every chance she got. She was completely fearless at that age and at times I was honestly not sure she would survive that trip. I just couldn’t relax and enjoy myself. I was so grumpy (and one of the days I split my new hiking pants and spent the whole day with my jacket tied around my waist, but that’s another story). My memories of the Grand Canyon are completely overshadowed by that fear.

I kept trying to make her understand the dangers of going too close to the edge. I tried to convince her to enjoy it from a safe distance. She would have none of it. The beauty of it called to her and she made no effort to resist it. We hiked a trail along the rim. At the edge of the trail, a stone wall that was about 3 feet high protected hikers from slipping down over the edge of a drop-off and also helped prevent the trail from eroding. Emelie insisted on walking on top of that wall. At first we let her, when there wasn’t much drop on the other side. As it grew steeper, however, I wanted her down. She held my hand and said, “I can’t fall Mamma! You are holding me!” 

For nearly 8 years, this has been my image of what child-like faith and trust looks like. 

We both knew that if she slipped up there, I would do everything in my power to keep her from falling. She trusted that that would be enough, and I knew it might not be. My hand was getting sweaty from holding hers for so long – she could just slip away from me in a second. So she had no fear and I had nothing but fear.

But when I read Jesus’ words about receiving the Kingdom like a little child, I picture receiving the Grand Canyon like a fearless 3-year-old. Can I approach the Kingdom like an encounter with something so beautiful that I’m willing to throw myself off a precipice to be a part of it? Does it call to me, drawing me ever closer? Am I hanging over the railing longing for more?

Or am I happy to enjoy the view from a safe distance? Do I hold it at arm’s length and see only the dangers? Am I willing to let my fears spoil the experience of something that deep down I am longing for?

It is hard to approach the Kingdom like a child. When God is calling me to walk the beautiful trail along the rim, too often I’m content to walk on the road instead. The road will lead me to the same destination eventually, but I miss so much beauty along the way. It’s safer on the road, so I’m content to only catch glimpses of the spectacular view between the trees. The trees that feel like they’re protecting me are actually blocking me from experiencing the fullness of where I am. God seeks me out from my hiding places and reminds me that he will hold my hand on the trail. 

Courage, my child. I am here. Come walk with me.

When I watch my kids I notice that their response to fear depends less on their circumstances than on who is with them. Last summer, a dog knocked Micah down on the beach and ate his snack, so now Micah is pretty shy of big dogs. But when he sees a dog, he doesn’t run away from the dog, he runs to me or Staffan. He wants to be with us, even if where we are is right next to the dog.

We are free to hide from our fears and turn down Jesus’ invitation to experience more of his Kingdom with a child-like trust. He won’t force us to leave the security of the treeline. But prioritizing safety in God’s Kingdom is like driving to the Grand Canyon but refusing to get out of the car in the parking lot. You’re there, but have you really experienced it?

I want to hold God’s hand and walk on the wall. Who’s with me?